Bride and groom family background

(Groom) comes from a big family which probably explains why he is such a fast eater, he always worries that if he doesn’t eat something quickly someone else will steal it.

His dad wanted a dog and his mum wanted a cat so (groom) was a compromise.

Groom claims he got good looks from mum and brains from his dad – and his mum agrees because she says his dad hasn’t had any brains for years.

(bride) really looks up to her father so (groom) has got a tough act to follow.

(brides) parents always told her never to try smoking, always drink in moderation and don’t talk to strange to men so it’s remarkable that she ever got together with (groom)

When it comes to be a great father and husband (brides) dad has set the bar very high.

(Groom) will have to work extremely hard to flop over the bar or he will have to sneak under it when no body is looking.

(Groom) once told me that his perfect wife would have the body of a Kylie Minogue, the brains of Carol Vorderman, and his mum culinary skills. But when he discovered that Nigella Lawson   was already married he turned his attention to (bride)

(grooms) mum/dad is a real hypochondriac, He/she takes so many tablets that he/she rattles when they walk.

(bride) brought up to respect her elders which his why she holds (groom) in such high regards.

Mum taught (groom) to do all things in moderation, but dad taught him that it was rude to turn down a drink.

(groom) comes from a very well balanced family his grand-dad was a tight-rope walker in the circus.

Being an only child whenever he stands up you will notice a bright light coming from his bum.

Like most kids who have no brothers or sisters (groom/bride) had lots of imaginary friends. Well you need to have someone to blame when something gets broken.

Having so many brothers (bride) had no choice but to like football.

Having so many sisters (groom) is very much in touch with his feminine side. 

(groom) from a very academic family but siblings used to tell him that the stalk had brought him.
(grooms) parents wanted him to grow up to be hard working, honest and healthy, well I suppose 2 out of 3 isn’t bad.

(groom) used to eat a lot as a child, when his mum and dad took him to the doctor the doctor said he had an over-active  knife and folk.

(bride) is very proud of her Celtic roots and when they start to go grey she plans to dye them

I don’t know which of his parents he takes after for being a hypochondriac but (groom) takes so many tablets that when he walks down the street he rattles.

(groom) can trace his family tree back to the time when it was his ancestors address.

Every family has it’s genius but sometimes he or she are not always recognised as such.

Now that he’s married (groom) is going to try and be more like his dad, so he is going to build a shed, buy lots of DIY tools he will never use, have the TV remote surgically attached to his hand and buy himself a pair of driving gloves

Now she is married (bride) is going to be more like her mother, she will spend more time in the kitchen, she will read the obits in the local paper to see who has died, and will only buy the essentials from the shops such as new shoes, clothes and make up.

The often say that children brighten up the home – probably because they always leave the lights on.

Without his the parents (groom) wouldn’t be where he is today – they had to wake him up, give him breakfast and get him dressed before ensuring he got to church on time.

Any father will tell you that parents spend the first 4-5 years of a daughter’s life trying to teach her to talk and then spend the next 10 years trying to get her to get off the phone.

(groom) is an only child so going to school in hand me downs often proved very embarrassing especially when he turned up in a flat cap, tweed trousers and a pipe.

(groom) comes from a big family, when all the boys used to share the same double bed he always tried to sleep in the shallow end.

(groom) comes from a truly close knit family, all his socks and jumpers were darned.

I’m sure you will all agree that(groom) has really scrubbed up well today, it’s marvellous what his mum can achieve with a bit of spit and a handkerchief.

(groom) claims that he comes from a rough and ready family, he says his dad’s rough and his mums never ready.

When he was younger his dad always used to say I’ll do it in a minute, which probably explains why (groom) has got such a poor concept of time.

When he was younger (groom) always looked up to his older brother, but he didn’t have much choice because he was on the top bunk.

When (groom) asked his father for some advice on getting married his dad told him, to remember that your wife is always right, arguing is futile and even when she is wrong she doesn’t need you to remind her about it.

When bride was younger she once asked her mother where babies come from, and when her mum said that the stork brought them, she then said who stops bad people from robbing the house, so her mum replied the police dear, (bride) then asked what would happen if the house was on fire and her mum assured her that the fire brigade would save them. (bride) then asked where food comes from and her mum said that farmers produced it. (bride) then paused and thought for a minute before asking ‘What do we actually need father for?

When he as a baby (groom) was just like his dad because he was bald and sleepy and usually had a bottle in his mouth.

People used to look up to his family because they lived in a tower block

(groom) thought he was in a nuclear family because they lived in a shelter.

(groom) was from a sporty family – his dad was always sporting a black eye and his mum was always sporting lots of tattoos.


(groom) always looked up to his grand-dad, probably because he was a crane driver.

 

 

 

 


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