The different jobs that the bride and groom have done in the past can prove a good source of material for a wedding speech. It’s worth trying to discover all the jobs they have done including jobs they did as teenagers and when they were at university etc.

Whilst they are plenty of fairly standard gags about jobs available in books and on the net  some of the funniest gags can be arrived at by combining the job they do and a hobby i.e. groom works as an account which comes in handy when playing golf because he has to deal with some pretty big numbers.

Another possible route to take with job related jokes is to look at the way in which job titles have charged over the years. Dustbin men are now referred to as waste management operative, Paper boy - distribution operative working in the media sector. Baby sitter – children’s well being worker. 

It is also worth trying to find out how many work colleagues are coming to the wedding. If there are a lot of work colleagues attending then it is worth including plenty of jokes that will appeal to that part of the audience.

As well as jokes about jobs they have done you could mention about the jobs that got away i.e. what jobs did bride and groom want to do when they were younger. I think you can easily allow yourself a bit of poetic license and make some stuff up about what they wanted to do. i.e. Groom wanted to be an astronaut but the nearest he has come to realising his dream is when he gets a rocketing from his boss at work

You could always mention the jobs that the bride and grooms parents do or have done in the past. There are quite a lot of jokes that work on the theme of – she was only a bank manager’s daughter so she always gave the boys a lot of interest. 

(bride) enjoys being her own boss, and everybody-else’s for that matter.

(groom) works as a consultant telling other people what to do which must be very different to his home life where he is usually told what to do.

(groom) owns his own business.  He has recently discovered that the secret of running a successful small business is to start with a big one.

One of (grooms)  early jobs was working as a postman in the summer holidays, on his first day at work he thought he was in trouble because his boss said he was going to give him the sack

One of (groom) early jobs was working as a paper boy, on his first day at work he thought he was in trouble because his boss said he was going to give him the sack

Rather than admit to his friends that he had a paper round he told everyone that he was a freelance media executive.

In the office (groom) is known as the Miracle worker because when he works it’s a miracle.

In the office (groom) is known as the Theory, because he hardly ever works.

I’m not saying he’s lazy but is ideal job would be working as a tester in a mattress factory.

When he was younger he planned to join as many unions as possible so that he could always be on strike.

(groom) really works his fingers to the bone at work, he clearly thinks that hitting  the keyboard so hard will help him do better at the on-line games.

(groom) has employed the ancient art of Feng Shui to help him work harder, he’s moved his desk two feet closer to the coffee machine.

When (groom) was interviewed for his first job the boss asked him what he could bring to the business, (groom) said a packed lunch and his mobile phone.


A lot of people at his place of work think that (groom) is an Arsenal fan because he spends all day saying I’m gunner do this and I’m gunner do that.

(groom) thinks that he’s indispensable at work but last time (groom) took a week off work no-body noticed he wasn’t there until Thursday.

At work (groom) is a real go getter, everyone keeps telling him to go get a coffee.

(groom) knows that hard work has never killed anyone but he’s not prepared to take the risk.  

(groom) used to claim that lots of women dared him to try and further their careers, turns out that most of them were just trainee psychologist.

(groom) now works for a fairy successful small business but when he started there it was a very successful large business.

(groom) always claims that he’s very busy because he’s got his finger in lots of pies, but looking at the size of his stomach he’s also had his teeth in plenty of pies as well.

(groom) considers himself to be a quick learner, it certainly doesn’t take him long to learn how to cut corners and avoid work.

When he started at work the boss said he was the one to watch and he wasn’t far wrong.

Whilst most people have to work hard to climb the career ladder (groom) prefers to take the escalator.

When (groom) said he wanted a job with lots of people under him the careers adviser suggested he should get a job cutting the grass at the cemetery

(groom) doesn’t believe on getting his hands dirty at work, the only time he goes home with dirty hands is if the cartridge needs changing on the printer.

(groom) was offered a job in a call-centre but he said he wasn’t prepared to move to India.

(groom) used to go out with a stripper but they broke up when the police caught her running away from the church with a wheelbarrow full of lead.

(groom) always leaves work totally knackered, if he put as much energy into doing his job as he did avoiding work he wouldn’t be so tired at the end of the day. 

(groom) job has lots of ups and downs, that because he spends so much time going in and out of the building for a smoke.

(groom) spends all lunch time complaining about his pack up which is a bit of a surprise because he always packs himself up

(groom) has not missed a single day off work in his life, whenever he is ill he always make sure that he takes the whole week off.

(groom) likes to do lots of overtime. When reading stories he always starts with –

‘Once upon a time and a half.’

(groom) claims that the most important part of his job is networking, which is probably why he does most of his work at the pub.

The groom fancied getting a job as an historian until some one told him there was no future in it.

(groom) Once applied for a job working as a life guard at the local swimming pool because in the advert it said it was a casual job.

At an interview (groom) was asked if he was adaptable. He said ‘I should be because I’ve had 8 jobs in the last 4 weeks

(groom) must have excellent motivational skills because colleagues say they have to do twice as much work when he’s around.

(groom) was once told that 700 jobs were in Jeopardy, so he rushed to find a map to see where it was,

On the stag night the groom told me he was thinking of giving up work after he got married, he will now just go to the office each day or a rest.

(groom) was once asked by an employer if  he had any experience of  multi-tasking so he said yes if sitting on the loo while reading was consider to be multi-tasking.

This free website was made using Yola.

No HTML skills required. Build your website in minutes.

Go to www.yola.com and sign up today!

Make a free website with Yola